Quotes by Funny She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Alice Walker church humorous funny When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us. Alice Walker forests tree funny I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness. Alicia Silverstone clueless stupid funny My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'. Alicia Silverstone boyfriend cute funny I don't think about what other people expect or anything. I mean, I sit and worrying so much about what I'M thinking, I'd go NUTS if I sat around worrying about other people. Allan Holdsworth inspiring funny mean In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world. Allan Sherman california hollywood funny The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl--everything. Allan Sherman stars home funny Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage. Allan Sherman divorce new-york funny In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed. Allan Sherman law golf funny Not a game, not a game... practice. Allen Iverson nba practice funny We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them. Allen Tucker government humor funny Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. Alphonse Allais humor military funny The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. Alphonse de Lamartine dog funny people I wish I could get all the discourteous drivers on a ship and sail them away and make sure it's a really horrible, wavy journey and when they get to where they're going, keep them there. Alvin Martin journey inspirational funny On the seemingly one-sided relationship between Michael Jordan and his shoe sponsors Nike- The company should change its name to Mike. Alvin Robertson nike basketball funny I know quickly whether a guy is boyfriend material. If I can have a good time doing absolutely nothing with him, then that's boyfriend material for me. Like if we're able to have fun at a gas station. I've had some really good times at gas stations. Alyson Hannigan boyfriend cute funny The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome. Amanda Seyfried nice girl funny War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Bierce military peace funny In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. Ambrose Bierce government humor funny A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. Ambrose Bierce nervous age funny «7891011121314151617»