Quotes by Witty I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants Dave Beard humorouswittyfunny I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! Dave Chappelle wittyfunnyhands Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade. David Baddiel cleverwittyprofound I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked. David Bailey fashiongirlwitty A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. David Brenner wittyfunnychildren When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. David Brenner girlwittyfunny I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. David Dinkins smartwittyfunny The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere." David Frost simplewittyfunny I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. David Gerrold sarcasticwittyfunny Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that's become part of our identity and it shouldn't be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented. David Karp identitywittypeople America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. David Letterman wittyinspirationalcountry I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. David Letterman dancewittyfunny The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. David Ogilvy sarcasticwittyfunny If it doesn't sell, it isn't creative. David Ogilvy humorwisewitty I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person. My friend David Rakoff, who died a few years ago, he was a witty person. Fran Lebowitz is a witty person. I don't think there are that many witty people around, so you tend to notice them when they do come around. I don't consider myself to be that. David Sedaris smartwittythinking Liverpool's grand opera also gave us some light comedy - on hearing the news that the house of goalkeeper Pepe Reina was burgled, and his Porsche stolen, while he was heroically saving penalties at Anfield, fans took a typically witty line: police were said to be interviewing a man from the West London area, a certain Frank Lampard, whose whereabouts on Tuesday between 7.45pm and 10.15pm are unknown. Indeed. Declan Lynch wittyfootballsoccer I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' Demetri Martin im-sorrywittyfunny There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels. Denise Mina crime-novelsrealwitty The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. Demetri Martin im-sorrywittyfunny If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! Demetri Martin humorouswittyfunny«7891011121314151617»
