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Quotes by Witty

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants

Dave Beard
humorous witty funny
I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumb... by Dave Chappelle

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

Dave Chappelle
witty funny hands

Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade.

David Baddiel
clever witty profound

I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked.

David Bailey
fashion girl witty
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have chi... by David Brenner

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

David Brenner
witty funny children
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the c... by David Brenner

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

David Brenner
girl witty funny
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with t... by David Dinkins

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

David Dinkins
smart witty funny

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere."

David Frost
simple witty funny

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

David Gerrold
sarcastic witty funny

Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that's become part of our identity and it shouldn't be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented.

David Karp
identity witty people

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

David Letterman
witty inspirational country
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show... by David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

David Letterman
dance witty funny
The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. by David Ogilvy

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

David Ogilvy
sarcastic witty funny
If it doesn't sell, it isn't creative. by David Ogilvy

If it doesn't sell, it isn't creative.

David Ogilvy
humor wise witty

I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person. My friend David Rakoff, who died a few years ago, he was a witty person. Fran Lebowitz is a witty person. I don't think there are that many witty people around, so you tend to notice them when they do come around. I don't consider myself to be that.

David Sedaris
smart witty thinking

Liverpool's grand opera also gave us some light comedy - on hearing the news that the house of goalkeeper Pepe Reina was burgled, and his Porsche stolen, while he was heroically saving penalties at Anfield, fans took a typically witty line: police were said to be interviewing a man from the West London area, a certain Frank Lampard, whose whereabouts on Tuesday between 7.45pm and 10.15pm are unknown. Indeed.

Declan Lynch
witty football soccer
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you f... by Demetri Martin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

Demetri Martin
im-sorry witty funny
There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime... by Denise Mina

There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.

Denise Mina
crime-novels real witty
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to r... by Demetri Martin

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Demetri Martin
im-sorry witty funny
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! by Demetri Martin

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

Demetri Martin
humorous witty funny
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