Quotes by Witty There's many witty men whose brains can't fill their bellies. Benjamin Franklin brainwittymen We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk. Bernard Manning sleepwittyfunny A good ad should be like a good sermon: It must not only comfort the afflicted, it also must afflict the comfortable. Bernice Fitz-Gibbon businesswisewitty Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. Bertrand Russell wittyinspirationalfunny I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Bette Davis wittylifefunny I am neither Christian enough nor charitable enough to like anybody just because he is alive and breathing. I want people to interest or amuse me. I want them fascinating and witty or so dul as to be different. I want them either intellectually stimulating or wonderfully corny; perfectly charming or hundred percent stinker. I like my chosen companions to be distinguishable from the undulating masses and I don't care how. Betty MacDonald breathingchristianwitty I often feel I'm a disappointment to people because they expect me to be the guy in the books. When I sit next to someone at a dinner party I can see they expect me to be quick and witty, and I'm not at all. Bill Bryson partydisappointmentwitty Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. Bill Cosby wisdomwittyfunny Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather. Bill Hicks dreamwittyfunny Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Bill Maher humorouswittyfunny Men are only as loyal as their options. Bill Maher humorouswittyfunny If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. Bill Vaughan haterwittyfunny Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan wittyhappinessfunny By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. Bill Vaughan elderlywittyfunny People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. Bill Watterson wittyinspirationalfunny Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN Bill Watterson wittyremembertwo Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly wittyinspirationalfunny My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Billy Connolly musicwittyfunny I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly humorouswittyfunny When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? Billy Connolly waitingwittyfunny«1234567891011»
